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HIRAM
T. MUCKRAKER
Managing
Editor
 Hiram
Muckraker is a serial flasher who enjoys strong drink and
hitting on his wife’s friends.
A
card-carrying
member of Alcoholics Unanimous (AU) and a graduate of several
three step programs calling for salt, fine tequila and fresh cut
limes, Mr. Muckraker survived a plethora of near-fatal brawls at some of the world’s more notorious
watering holes before
assuming his current role as Managing Editor of THE BETA POTATO.
 As
a member of an
obscure, long-since-banned
chapter of a
national fraternity in the
State of Colorado, Mr. Muckraker barely completed a 7-year
undergraduate program majoring in Jim Beam, controlled
substances and fat chicks. After
graduating far from the top of his class, he
failed miserably at several vocations before
entering into private practice, selling his ass to old
divorcés
–- former cheerleaders and trophy-wives -- horribly
disfigured by childbirth, alcohol and innumerable trips to
In-N-Out Burger.
Mr. Muckraker has traveled
extensively, acquainting himself with the politics, dining
habits and carnal pleasures of various regions around the world,
while tirelessly constructing the vast network of news
insurgents who now make their less-than-regular contributions to
the Potato during those rare instances when they can construct a
coherent sentence.
 Mr.
Muckraker is currently rumored to be on the lam, keeping himself
one step ahead of the law, his creditors, and the parents of
barely legal waifs in nine cities across the United States of
America. He is now believed to reside somewhere in the
Far East, writhing in the land of small breasts and tight
backsides, while road-testing latex sausage casings on behalf of
Long Dong Lubricated Plastics Co., Ltd of Shanghai, China.
With all of the demands of his busy schedule,
Mr. Muckraker still finds time
to shepherd
THE BETA POTATO through the
myriad peaks and valleys of this crazy world we live in to dig
deep and deliver the truth to the substance-deprived heroes
fighting to make it through just one more day.
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