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THE DAY AFTER
[The
following are selections from the transcript of today’s
broadcast of the Lush Rim-Job Show courtesy of the IIB Network]
BEGIN
TRANSCRIPT
Good Day
witless listeners, and welcome to another secretion from the
Insolence In Broadcasting Network. I, Lush Rim-Job, your
self-appointed leader of the freak world, your spin-meister of
the inane, your Donald Trump of the penis pump, stand ready and
able to spew forth today’s ration of misinformation, propaganda
and bald-faced lies in my never-ending effort to combat the
enormous groundswell of support for truth and justice that has
arisen in this great nation of ours during the presidential
campaign.
I know, I
know, there are many of you asking yourselves, “Lush, how can
this be? This election saw the highest voter turn-out on
record, and WE lost? What does this say about the fabric of
this great nation? Where do we go from here? What can we do?”
Well, I, Lush Rim-Job, am here to tell you that…Well…..WE’RE
FUCKED!!! I don’t know how else to put it. There just aren’t
enough of us twisted fucks on the planet to outnumber those who
would take this great country of ours on a course that would
provide all citizens with the opportunities that are currently
only available to rich, opinionated, fat white guys like yours
truly.
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TRANSCRIPT
 I got an
email this week from one of our more persistent
listeners. This guy….can I say his name on the air?....So this
guy, TJ Magoober, tells me he’s all worked-up about Sarah Palin
getting abused by saner, er, I mean, more moderate republicans.
Hey, isn’t “sane republican” kind of an oxymoron? Well, yeah, I
mean “moron republican”, would be redundant, but, anyway, this
guy Magoober tells me he has to keep a jar of Vaseline and some
Kleenex around in case there’s a shot of Palin on the TV or in
his local newspaper, and he goes on and on about her being the
last great hope of the Republican party. I mean, the guy’s
obsessed, but he’s fucking brilliant! If I wasn’t impotent, I’d
be flailing away on myself too…..
Anyway, look,
the way I see it, the only shot that we have, and I mean the
Rethuglican party, the only shot we have at this thing is if we
expand beyond the party’s reach beyond the wealthy and
well-to-do money grubbing bastards like me, which comprise,
what, 2% maybe 4% of the electorate, and beyond the pie-eyed,
Wal-Mart shoppers who actually think the party’s looking out for
their interests…..What?…..They’re going to figure it out
sometime, right? Well, yeah, hopefully not, but the party’s got
to expand beyond the ranks of the rich and the ranks of the
witless….This Sarah Palin thing looks like our best shot!
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TRANSCRIPT
LUSH:
Sarah...Can I call you Sarah?
PALIN:
You betcha!
LUSH:
Sarah, you sexy thang, what was all of this talk about you
falling off message and spouting your own version of the
Rethuglican mantra during the campaign?
PALIN:
You know, Lush, that whole think got so blown out of proportion,
kind of like my qualifications for office….John McCain called me
and said, “Hey, Bridgette To Nowhere, this ain’t Nicolas Sarkozy
calling, you dumb cunt! Now, my people are going to give you a
fucking script, and you’re going to stick to it or I’m going to
show you how they treat fat, white housewives in the Nam!!”
LUSH:
Jesus!
PALIN:
Yeah, so I say, “Thank you sir, may I have another” and he
hangs up on me. The next thing I know, one of my handlers walks
into the hotel suite and hands me a note that says, in big bold
letters, “STAY ON THE FUCKING MASSAGE!”, and then he starts
grabbing my breasts!
LUSH:
Nooooo--
PALIN:
Yeah! Then I got six of them on me, and they’re wheeling a bull
moose into the room and saying something about Catherine the
Great! How the hell am I supposed to find time to read the
script?
LUSH: Bastards!
END
TRANSCRIPT |
